It never ceases to amaze me how hard it is to make the right decision. From lifestyle choices to what we eat and drink, it seems that its almost impossible to be perfect.
What matters for one family doesn't seem so important for others, so as parents we all walk this tight rope of trying to do the best for our children.
A great example is organic food. Its expensive, but its supposedly good for you. Perhaps stops cancer forming. Better for the environment. If you are buying meat or poultry, perhaps a better life for the animals.
Yet the price is restrictive for some, and lets face it - sometimes its nice to have a big perfect apple with no scars or animal marks.
On the other hand you could feed your children a wonderfully balanced diet - not too much red meat, plenty of fish and their 5 plus a day of fruit and veges. Dairy - where to get the calcium from. Cheese, processed or standard? High fat or low?Buy milk from the farm gate - unpasteurised perhaps? Or maybe you want to go vegan and look at soy or rice milk. But then again, are lots of soy products good for your kids?
When you give your children their veges, do you count potato as one of them? Are you ensuring they get leafy greens as well as those veges high in starch? Do you try to give your children a "rainbow" of food each day?
Do you give your kids juice - organic or not, or do you simply give them water? Are you filtering the water? Are you drinking from a fluorinated supply?
Enough of food, how about immunisations? Are you a conscientious objector believing that MMR causes austism? Or perhaps you think that the mercury will harm, or perhaps the monkey brains is not much trot? Do you accept that the HPV vaccine (gardisil) will actually prevent your daughter getting cervical cancer?
What about birth control. Rhythm or condoms? OCP or IUD? Vasectomy for him or tying tubes for her?
Schooling - private or public? Home school? Extend or hold back? Gifted and talented - encourage or mainstream?
Co sleeping? Controlled crying? Baby wearing?? Attachment parenting? Pram? Front facing, rear facing? Booster after 5 or in the front seat?
Sports, Music, Ballet, Speech and Drama.
Vege gardening at home?
Free range eggs?
Make your own clothes or buy them?
Electric car or walk? 4WD or motorbike?
I don't know about you, but all the choices we have in life, and all the inherent judgement associated with life choices bamboozles me. Of course I want to do the best for my family, but I get overwhelmed with the number of right decisions. I haven't got the energy to get it all right, so I look for balanced based on my perception of acceptable risk.
We vaccinate - Against pretty much everything (except that stoopid HPV one). We even pay for the flu jabs for adults and opted for Chicken Pox for the kids. I understand there is a bit of discomfort for the kids, but I do believe for the general population that vaccination is for the community.
My decision is right for me, but wrong for so many others. Sometimes though - I just don't have the energy to fight.
Can't we all just get along? Accept others differences and leave it at that.
Now I'm off to feed my kids dinner. Its white rice cause they like that, and its cooked in the microwave cause thats how I get the best result. They are having devilled sausages from homekill sausies cause they are yummier and have less crap in them, and I made the sauce from scratch because I never quite know whats in those packets.
I'll give them some veges, maybe some frozen beans and raw carrots - none of them organic or from the garden at the mo.
And I'll probably give them water or low fat milk to wash it down. A piece of fruit for pudding.
Wow - all that decision making means I need a large glass of wine to recover.......
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
On being crazy.....
So it's been a rough 6m, and understandably I'm still a bit fragile.
I think because it all happened so quickly (the brain tumour that is) I've probably got PTSD. Thinking that I really need to talk to someone, I decided to ask my GP for a referral to Maternal Mental Health at Campbell's 6 week check up.
She went through the questionnaire and because there were a couple of key questions I gave sensible answers for, it seems that I'm not quite crazy enough to qualify for the service. They rang yesterday, and went through the questionnaire again with me (but tried to be all subtle about it), but again because I don't lie awake at night, and because I don't think of self harm, I'm not crazy! And then she went on to say that she thinks the way I'm feeling is because of life, not having a baby. I love that they can distinguish between the different sorts of crazy.
I guess I'm a little frustrated with a system that makes it difficult to get help once you have asked for it. I don't have a history of depression, and I'm not into self harm, and all I really want is to have a good cry and get the crazies out of my system.
I'd like to be able to think about brain surgery without crying! I'd like to be able to talk to health professionals (Neurosurgeon's, midwives, GP's, Occupational Therapists, ENT people etc etc etc) without crying as soon as someone mentions what life was like about 6m ago.
Anyway, I'll just keep treading water, coping very well, but knowing that at any moment it could all come crashing down. Its hard when people look at you externally thinking that you are doing pretty well (which I am, I know) but inside its all a little fragile. There is nothing I would like more than to spend the whole day in bed, and not have to get up and take the kids to school.
I'm well over driving. We are planning a Sth Island 3 week holiday later in the year, and I'm a bit pissy that I have to do all the driving of the motorhome. The Marlborough Vineyards are going to be no fun at all when I have to drive. Although - I guess I could just park up the van for the night and really enjoy myself.
Roll on November when Shane can drive again!
I think because it all happened so quickly (the brain tumour that is) I've probably got PTSD. Thinking that I really need to talk to someone, I decided to ask my GP for a referral to Maternal Mental Health at Campbell's 6 week check up.
She went through the questionnaire and because there were a couple of key questions I gave sensible answers for, it seems that I'm not quite crazy enough to qualify for the service. They rang yesterday, and went through the questionnaire again with me (but tried to be all subtle about it), but again because I don't lie awake at night, and because I don't think of self harm, I'm not crazy! And then she went on to say that she thinks the way I'm feeling is because of life, not having a baby. I love that they can distinguish between the different sorts of crazy.
I guess I'm a little frustrated with a system that makes it difficult to get help once you have asked for it. I don't have a history of depression, and I'm not into self harm, and all I really want is to have a good cry and get the crazies out of my system.
I'd like to be able to think about brain surgery without crying! I'd like to be able to talk to health professionals (Neurosurgeon's, midwives, GP's, Occupational Therapists, ENT people etc etc etc) without crying as soon as someone mentions what life was like about 6m ago.
Anyway, I'll just keep treading water, coping very well, but knowing that at any moment it could all come crashing down. Its hard when people look at you externally thinking that you are doing pretty well (which I am, I know) but inside its all a little fragile. There is nothing I would like more than to spend the whole day in bed, and not have to get up and take the kids to school.
I'm well over driving. We are planning a Sth Island 3 week holiday later in the year, and I'm a bit pissy that I have to do all the driving of the motorhome. The Marlborough Vineyards are going to be no fun at all when I have to drive. Although - I guess I could just park up the van for the night and really enjoy myself.
Roll on November when Shane can drive again!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Our new girls....
Here they are having their first taste of freedom.
That big hole in the vege garden has resulted from the scallopini that got ripped out a few days ago. My goodness did that produce this year! We must have had 30-40 pieces from it. We were giving them away everywhere.
We would like to let them out more often, but we have to ensure the cat and the dog are locked up inside before opening the cage. Jenna starting feeding them from her hand tonight, so hopefully they will become very tame in time.
They are only 15w old, so they start producing eggs in a week or two. Can't wait!!!
That big hole in the vege garden has resulted from the scallopini that got ripped out a few days ago. My goodness did that produce this year! We must have had 30-40 pieces from it. We were giving them away everywhere.
We would like to let them out more often, but we have to ensure the cat and the dog are locked up inside before opening the cage. Jenna starting feeding them from her hand tonight, so hopefully they will become very tame in time.
They are only 15w old, so they start producing eggs in a week or two. Can't wait!!!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Log Cabin Finished
I love the boldness of the red hearth in the centre of each block, and the blue border sets it off.
I didn't enjoy machine quilting it at all (I never do....) but its a simple job that looks OK.
I'm slowly getting used to my digital SLR. Some settings are still a mystery to me, I really need to do a course or something, but I am starting to play around a bit more to get different effects.
And just to finish off, a gratuitous shot of the (not so) wee fella.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Introducing.....
Campbell Blair D-W.
He was born at about 1am on the 25th January at home - just as planned. He was 8lb4oz, and while the labour wasn't super quick, it wasn't slow either. Just very painful! Definitely the last one from me.
So far he's doing everything perfectly.
He was born at about 1am on the 25th January at home - just as planned. He was 8lb4oz, and while the labour wasn't super quick, it wasn't slow either. Just very painful! Definitely the last one from me.
So far he's doing everything perfectly.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Family
Having another baby makes you think about your own upbringing in so many ways. With this child being so late (11 days and counting......) it makes me think about my other two - one was induced 11 days late, and the other was on his due date.
Their personalities are very different, the one who was late is very stubborn and determined!! Rushes headfirst into every situation, makes up stories, manipulates everyone around her.... She's hard work. But I admire her spirit and her fight. If we can keep ourselves from killing her, I think she will be a fine young woman who is very successful.
The one who was on time is my little man. He's a squishy wee thing, and ever so clever. He's quicker to give up than J, she can be tricked into doing jobs whereas if H isn't interested, he walks away. He surprises us with his deep thinking, his understanding of how things work, and his patience.
I originally thought this one might be a boy, but now thats its late, I'm thinking its a girl! And I'm petrified that its going to be another stubborn minx like #1.
So I grew up in a family of 4 kids - and we are all very different!! This is our most recent photo together from April 2010 - its been a few years since we had one since we have at different times all lived in different countries! But we were all together at my younger brother's wedding. My brothers are wearing the Robertson tartan - one is a family kilt from my late uncle Adam, and the other was custom made in Edinburgh.
When I think about personalities of my siblings I can summarise, but really we are all too complicated to make wide statements about.
My older brother is sensible. He's intelligent, and he loves a good laugh. And a good bottle of wine. He's a family man and a career man, and I think his biggest challenge is to work the two together. He feels responsibility heavily, but he is a good friend since he has had the same close group of mates since high school - despite them living around the world. He misses NZ, which is good since he married a kiwi so I think they will be back to NZ eventually.
My older sister is very talented in a creative way. She is extremely musical and a deep thinker - she probably over thinks most things truth be told. She is very protective of her family and her way of life, and I admire her tireless pursuit of contentedness. She's the sort of person who will be there for you if you ask her to.
My little brother was the unsettled one, but that's changed some over the last few years. He likes his mates, his concerts and his travelling. He is an excellent provider, and will work almost anywhere doing almost anything to make sure that the required funds are raised. Like my older brother, he enjoys a good laugh, and a good drink, and a bloody good time. When he is on form, he is a blast to be around. He's married an Aussie girl, so I suspect he is there for good.
I'm the practical one. I did the boring things (like savings, school, education, work, buying houses etc.....) when I was supposed to, and I guess I'm middle aged before my time. Getting divorced and having illegitimate kids to a much older divorcee with tatts and a harley threw a bit of a spanner in the works in terms of my reputation, but when they all realised how incredibly sensible Shane is, I think my boring nature was just cemented in stone!
I do wonder what my kids will be like in 30 years time. I'm pleased I'm having my third child because how nice to have siblings.
(I just wish this baby would come soon!!!!!!!!!)
Their personalities are very different, the one who was late is very stubborn and determined!! Rushes headfirst into every situation, makes up stories, manipulates everyone around her.... She's hard work. But I admire her spirit and her fight. If we can keep ourselves from killing her, I think she will be a fine young woman who is very successful.
The one who was on time is my little man. He's a squishy wee thing, and ever so clever. He's quicker to give up than J, she can be tricked into doing jobs whereas if H isn't interested, he walks away. He surprises us with his deep thinking, his understanding of how things work, and his patience.
I originally thought this one might be a boy, but now thats its late, I'm thinking its a girl! And I'm petrified that its going to be another stubborn minx like #1.
So I grew up in a family of 4 kids - and we are all very different!! This is our most recent photo together from April 2010 - its been a few years since we had one since we have at different times all lived in different countries! But we were all together at my younger brother's wedding. My brothers are wearing the Robertson tartan - one is a family kilt from my late uncle Adam, and the other was custom made in Edinburgh.
When I think about personalities of my siblings I can summarise, but really we are all too complicated to make wide statements about.
My older brother is sensible. He's intelligent, and he loves a good laugh. And a good bottle of wine. He's a family man and a career man, and I think his biggest challenge is to work the two together. He feels responsibility heavily, but he is a good friend since he has had the same close group of mates since high school - despite them living around the world. He misses NZ, which is good since he married a kiwi so I think they will be back to NZ eventually.
My older sister is very talented in a creative way. She is extremely musical and a deep thinker - she probably over thinks most things truth be told. She is very protective of her family and her way of life, and I admire her tireless pursuit of contentedness. She's the sort of person who will be there for you if you ask her to.
My little brother was the unsettled one, but that's changed some over the last few years. He likes his mates, his concerts and his travelling. He is an excellent provider, and will work almost anywhere doing almost anything to make sure that the required funds are raised. Like my older brother, he enjoys a good laugh, and a good drink, and a bloody good time. When he is on form, he is a blast to be around. He's married an Aussie girl, so I suspect he is there for good.
I'm the practical one. I did the boring things (like savings, school, education, work, buying houses etc.....) when I was supposed to, and I guess I'm middle aged before my time. Getting divorced and having illegitimate kids to a much older divorcee with tatts and a harley threw a bit of a spanner in the works in terms of my reputation, but when they all realised how incredibly sensible Shane is, I think my boring nature was just cemented in stone!
I do wonder what my kids will be like in 30 years time. I'm pleased I'm having my third child because how nice to have siblings.
(I just wish this baby would come soon!!!!!!!!!)
Friday, January 7, 2011
Never a dull moment....
Medically speaking, this pregnancy has been non-eventful for me and baby.
Of course there has been loads going on all around me, but bubs has been pretty well behaved and my body has been quite reliable.
Well that went and changed over the last week.
I had my 39w midwife appointment today, and she commented that the bum was feeling very bony. I went straight away for a scan (thankfully a new radiology clinic has just opened in town with ultrasound facilities!!!) and sure enough, its not a bum.
This pesky child has turned head up.
At the moment, baby is looking something like this (but no idea on genitalia of course....):
Which is not at all ideal. Particularly when you have a planned home birth. So I'm now heading in for an "urgent" hospital appointment on Monday. Not sure what they think urgent means, but evidently at 39w you can wait 4 days for these things.
So from here the options are:
But I think he is actually getting a taste of what he put me through over the last wee while! (And on that note I'm really enjoying my new diamond earrings too......)
Why did baby turn? Well I have my own suspicions on that, and I actually think that while I have been sitting in a good position, I'm been sitting alot doing all this sewing. I wonder if bubs got sick of being head down in a little cramped pelvis while I sewed at my machine. Its the only thing that has changed over the last week, and I'm thinking its the most likely cause, so the sewing machine is switched off from here until delivery! Lucky all my log cabin stuff was done for Jan :)
My Plan of attack.
As I said - never a dull moment in this household!
Of course there has been loads going on all around me, but bubs has been pretty well behaved and my body has been quite reliable.
Well that went and changed over the last week.
I had my 39w midwife appointment today, and she commented that the bum was feeling very bony. I went straight away for a scan (thankfully a new radiology clinic has just opened in town with ultrasound facilities!!!) and sure enough, its not a bum.
This pesky child has turned head up.
At the moment, baby is looking something like this (but no idea on genitalia of course....):
Which is not at all ideal. Particularly when you have a planned home birth. So I'm now heading in for an "urgent" hospital appointment on Monday. Not sure what they think urgent means, but evidently at 39w you can wait 4 days for these things.
So from here the options are:
- Deliver said breech baby at hospital (apparently very possibly given its my #3 and its legs are up)
- Get baby to turn through myself between now and Monday's appointment and continue with the home birth.
- Go to Monday's appointment, baby still breech and have a ECV which looks unpleasant, but will allow me to have the home birth.
- C/section (least favourable option)
But I think he is actually getting a taste of what he put me through over the last wee while! (And on that note I'm really enjoying my new diamond earrings too......)
Why did baby turn? Well I have my own suspicions on that, and I actually think that while I have been sitting in a good position, I'm been sitting alot doing all this sewing. I wonder if bubs got sick of being head down in a little cramped pelvis while I sewed at my machine. Its the only thing that has changed over the last week, and I'm thinking its the most likely cause, so the sewing machine is switched off from here until delivery! Lucky all my log cabin stuff was done for Jan :)
My Plan of attack.
- Lots of time with bum in air. We will do pillows, crawling around on all fours, handstands at the pool, lying on a plank. You name it, I'm going to try it!
- Acupuncture booked in for tomorrow, he may do some dry needling, but its mainly going to be moxi and heat treatment.
- NO MORE NATURAL INDUCEMENT!! We don't want this baby to come between now and Monday's appointment otherwise I am straight into hospital.
- Lots of talking to bubs, and I'm trying to visualise a head locked into a pelvis.
- Reduced sitting time, with no more sewing.
- ECV I think on Monday if all fails. There is lots of fluid there, I'm nice and spongey with saggy uterine muscles, so I think it will work.
As I said - never a dull moment in this household!
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Final sum up of 12 Days....
OK - so the best laid plans and all that.......
I meant to post daily with the swap I sent and the swap I received. But my camera is on the fritz, and life has gotten in the way, and well, here we are at Day 12, and I have a couple of photos to share.
Odette sent me all these goodies. Just a gorgeous swap - thanks ever so much. (Stitch markers are missing as they are already in my SM pouch and I can't find them at the moment...) I've loved the deccies, the gardening stuff is lovely, and the book is really good! I've not seen the series or read any of the books, and I'm really enjoying it! I actually would love to be reading now rather than cooking the Christmas lunch, but the big guy is in bed sleeping, so thems the breaks.
This is the final swap that Hannah should have amassed. Its so strange when you participate in swaps to look at the final product. I put alot of time into Hannah's swap at a pretty tricky old time. To me it looks bitzy, but I know each thing in there was thought about and considered. There are 6 handmade things, a few bought things, and a few things that were jokey.
I meant to post daily with the swap I sent and the swap I received. But my camera is on the fritz, and life has gotten in the way, and well, here we are at Day 12, and I have a couple of photos to share.
Odette sent me all these goodies. Just a gorgeous swap - thanks ever so much. (Stitch markers are missing as they are already in my SM pouch and I can't find them at the moment...) I've loved the deccies, the gardening stuff is lovely, and the book is really good! I've not seen the series or read any of the books, and I'm really enjoying it! I actually would love to be reading now rather than cooking the Christmas lunch, but the big guy is in bed sleeping, so thems the breaks.
This is the final swap that Hannah should have amassed. Its so strange when you participate in swaps to look at the final product. I put alot of time into Hannah's swap at a pretty tricky old time. To me it looks bitzy, but I know each thing in there was thought about and considered. There are 6 handmade things, a few bought things, and a few things that were jokey.
So another Christmas Day is over as far as the kids are concerned. I am more excited about about the roast chicken in the oven, and the pav and brandy snaps awaiting us! I did get a pretty special present (apart from the much needed Clarins products and some new knit picks and addi's needles). I told Shane he owed me diamond earrings after the grief he has put me through.
I helped out by using an old 1/4 carat diamond pendant of mine as one of the earrings, and traded in all my unwanted or broken 9ct gold jewellery, so I now have a lovely pair of sparklies at a much cheaper price than buying new. The camera is really on the fritz (hopefully a second hand Nikon SLR D200 coming to me in the new year!!!) so here is a fritzy shot to show the size. Perfect I would say :)
I hope all your Christmasses are lovely too. I just have to go and deal with the nearly 6yo who has her first digital camera, and the 4yo who has a noisy digger truck that is driving us all mad!!!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
12 Days of Christmas - Day 2
Today is Wednesday. It was a hard day.... Schools are finishing up. I had to go to my workplace to empty out my desk for my maternity leave replacement, and there was a concert, a Pippins party and of course nibbles to prepare.
So - hard day for me, I'm tired, its hot, I'm over it.
It's nice therefore to have a wee pick-me-up!
Today I received this lovely little santa decoration from Odette in my Day 2 parcel. I'm not sure if she made it, but its incredibly well finished, so if she did she's a smartie!!!
Hannah would have opened her day 2 parcel to find this: Something for the kiddlies :)
In addition to the swap festivities, I got the teacher's gifts together this evening too (x 6 - 4 kindy teachers and 2 school teachers) 6 nice teatowels each filled with about 1kg of freshly dug new potatoes from our vege garden.
Seems a weird present to give, but with all the wonderful things teachers receive at this time of year - especially new entrants teachers - I like giving a practical easy present that people don't feel bad about receiving or cooking and using!!
On with tomorrow - phew! This heat is killing me so with the promise of rain tomorrow, I'm already loving the idea of a good night's sleep.
So - hard day for me, I'm tired, its hot, I'm over it.
It's nice therefore to have a wee pick-me-up!
Hannah would have opened her day 2 parcel to find this: Something for the kiddlies :)
Seems a weird present to give, but with all the wonderful things teachers receive at this time of year - especially new entrants teachers - I like giving a practical easy present that people don't feel bad about receiving or cooking and using!!
On with tomorrow - phew! This heat is killing me so with the promise of rain tomorrow, I'm already loving the idea of a good night's sleep.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Trying not to do a depressing post....
Due to the last 6-7 weeks, much of what I have written here has been tainted with misfortune. And I don't mean it to be, truly! BUt I guess when the focus of your world becomes someone else's health, well you can't really help it.
The day after Shane was diagnosed with the Tumour, I had to make phone calls to ask for help. As we were in the middle of reno's and the lino had been laid on the Friday, I was really stuck as I had no oven, washing machine, shower, bath, vanity, fridge, laundry tub in place. Luckily we had the toilet, the kitchen sink and the dishwasher.
And the next problem I faced is that Shane is exactly the sort of person I needed to call! Handy, capable and able to tackle most jobs. Luckily we have a friend who is a plumber, and he came over on the Sunday to do all sorts of things for us, while his wife watched the kids. Another friend came over on the Saturday and put back the fridge and washing machine. But the oven was still tricky. Shane had unwired it, and I really couldn't trust his wiring, so I knew I had to get a sparky in.
The person I called was Paul McLeod - the head of technology at Cambridge High School. I did a practicum at CHS when I did my teacher training 2 years ago, and really enjoyed being in the tech department. Such a lovely group of men, and had I not got the job where I did, I would have worked as a relief teacher at CHS until I was able to be squeezed in somewhere. Such a lovely team. After my prac finished, I saw an advertisement for a workshop technician for 2 hrs per week, and Shane approached them for the job. He's been there since, and has really enjoyed his 2 hours in the man cave each week - fixing lathes and sharpening chisels, and he is able to use the facilities whenever he needs to out of hours for small welding jobs etc. They love him too as it frees up the teachers time as they can leave the repair jobs for him in the weekend.
Paul was a great help when I called. He gave me numbers to call, and over the next few weeks called a few times to check on progress. He was understanding when Shane couldn't get in there, and even more understanding when Shane and I started doing his 2 hrs a week together over the last few weeks as I can't trust him to be in a workshop alone with his seizures and the like.
Sadly Paul took his own life on Sunday after what sounds like a long battle with depression. He is survived by his wife of 42 years and his 3 daughters. Today was the funeral, and I was holding it together pretty well until the daughters took the stage and the grief poured through them.
I'll miss him. He was a bloody good colleague, a mentor, and an all round funny nice bloke. I don't understand why it happened, why he all of a sudden didn't feel like he could reach out and ask for help. I mean - I asked him for help 6-7 weeks ago, and he delivered. Didn't he realise there were people who would do the same for him?
So - trying not to be a depressing post, but there it is.
On the lighter side of things, I have done some dyeing today, and I am getting my giveaway together! Hopefully it will be ready in a week or so in time for Christmas!
The day after Shane was diagnosed with the Tumour, I had to make phone calls to ask for help. As we were in the middle of reno's and the lino had been laid on the Friday, I was really stuck as I had no oven, washing machine, shower, bath, vanity, fridge, laundry tub in place. Luckily we had the toilet, the kitchen sink and the dishwasher.
And the next problem I faced is that Shane is exactly the sort of person I needed to call! Handy, capable and able to tackle most jobs. Luckily we have a friend who is a plumber, and he came over on the Sunday to do all sorts of things for us, while his wife watched the kids. Another friend came over on the Saturday and put back the fridge and washing machine. But the oven was still tricky. Shane had unwired it, and I really couldn't trust his wiring, so I knew I had to get a sparky in.
The person I called was Paul McLeod - the head of technology at Cambridge High School. I did a practicum at CHS when I did my teacher training 2 years ago, and really enjoyed being in the tech department. Such a lovely group of men, and had I not got the job where I did, I would have worked as a relief teacher at CHS until I was able to be squeezed in somewhere. Such a lovely team. After my prac finished, I saw an advertisement for a workshop technician for 2 hrs per week, and Shane approached them for the job. He's been there since, and has really enjoyed his 2 hours in the man cave each week - fixing lathes and sharpening chisels, and he is able to use the facilities whenever he needs to out of hours for small welding jobs etc. They love him too as it frees up the teachers time as they can leave the repair jobs for him in the weekend.
Paul was a great help when I called. He gave me numbers to call, and over the next few weeks called a few times to check on progress. He was understanding when Shane couldn't get in there, and even more understanding when Shane and I started doing his 2 hrs a week together over the last few weeks as I can't trust him to be in a workshop alone with his seizures and the like.
Sadly Paul took his own life on Sunday after what sounds like a long battle with depression. He is survived by his wife of 42 years and his 3 daughters. Today was the funeral, and I was holding it together pretty well until the daughters took the stage and the grief poured through them.
I'll miss him. He was a bloody good colleague, a mentor, and an all round funny nice bloke. I don't understand why it happened, why he all of a sudden didn't feel like he could reach out and ask for help. I mean - I asked him for help 6-7 weeks ago, and he delivered. Didn't he realise there were people who would do the same for him?
So - trying not to be a depressing post, but there it is.
On the lighter side of things, I have done some dyeing today, and I am getting my giveaway together! Hopefully it will be ready in a week or so in time for Christmas!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Strength
At the moment lots of people are telling me how strong I am.
I guess for many people, what I am dealing with right now is a total nightmare. I mean who really imagines their life partner is going to have brain surgery when you are due to have a baby in 3months.
I didn't expect it. Nothing like this has happened in my family. Bad things have happened in Shane's family, and they have a bit more practise with it all, but for me this is all new.
So I guess I am just muddling through it. I put on the brave front when dealing with the doctor's and the kids, and when noone is listening I let out a big sob and kick something. Driving by myself is when I really get the tears flowing, but the problem with that is I get a bright red rudolph nose when I cry that takes about 30mins to settle down.
Life isn't fair. And good people put up with fucking horrible shit. This is hard, and its the uncertainty that is the hardest. Just when we think we have got over another hurdle, we got 2 steps back.
Today Shane started having seizures. They were like skipping CD's, but they lasted about 2-5mins each. His head sort of flicks, and he can't get the words out - like a tic or a bad stutter. I sent him by ambulance to hospital, and he was discharged 3 hrs later with a new script.
Now I can't look at him in case he has another.
I really want to just curl up in a little ball most days and close my eyes, and rock quietly, but unfortunately there is just noone else around to do all the jobs. So I keep doing it all, hoping that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I know that bad things happened, and while our situation is bad, it could be a lot worse. So while it looks like I'm strong, I'm not sure I am. Maybe I'm a bit of a Prince William and Kate - ducks calm on the surface while their little legs are scrambling under the surface.
Some respite would be good. Just a few days of how life used to be, and then I can do another month of this. But I guess thats what strength is. Knowing that unfortunately when you get up in the morning, its going to be the same as it was today. And still getting up anyway.
I guess for many people, what I am dealing with right now is a total nightmare. I mean who really imagines their life partner is going to have brain surgery when you are due to have a baby in 3months.
I didn't expect it. Nothing like this has happened in my family. Bad things have happened in Shane's family, and they have a bit more practise with it all, but for me this is all new.
So I guess I am just muddling through it. I put on the brave front when dealing with the doctor's and the kids, and when noone is listening I let out a big sob and kick something. Driving by myself is when I really get the tears flowing, but the problem with that is I get a bright red rudolph nose when I cry that takes about 30mins to settle down.
Life isn't fair. And good people put up with fucking horrible shit. This is hard, and its the uncertainty that is the hardest. Just when we think we have got over another hurdle, we got 2 steps back.
Today Shane started having seizures. They were like skipping CD's, but they lasted about 2-5mins each. His head sort of flicks, and he can't get the words out - like a tic or a bad stutter. I sent him by ambulance to hospital, and he was discharged 3 hrs later with a new script.
Now I can't look at him in case he has another.
I really want to just curl up in a little ball most days and close my eyes, and rock quietly, but unfortunately there is just noone else around to do all the jobs. So I keep doing it all, hoping that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I know that bad things happened, and while our situation is bad, it could be a lot worse. So while it looks like I'm strong, I'm not sure I am. Maybe I'm a bit of a Prince William and Kate - ducks calm on the surface while their little legs are scrambling under the surface.
Some respite would be good. Just a few days of how life used to be, and then I can do another month of this. But I guess thats what strength is. Knowing that unfortunately when you get up in the morning, its going to be the same as it was today. And still getting up anyway.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Pterodactyl Poo
This was on my car when I came out of Jenna's ballet exam this morning.
Hamish and I examined it closely.
Given we were not parked under a tree, I decided it must have been a very large bird to fly and launch it because there is a large amount of matter in this baby. (pictured with a AA battery for size comparison....)
The only thing we could come up with is, it had to have been a Pterodactyl. Granted they haven't been sighted in a few million years, but what other flying creature could have done this. It wasn't a sparrow, we don't live anywhere near the coast, ducks aren't flying around at the mo, and it wasn't in the country.
Hamish likes the idea of it being a pterodactyl too.....
Hamish and I examined it closely.
Given we were not parked under a tree, I decided it must have been a very large bird to fly and launch it because there is a large amount of matter in this baby. (pictured with a AA battery for size comparison....)
The only thing we could come up with is, it had to have been a Pterodactyl. Granted they haven't been sighted in a few million years, but what other flying creature could have done this. It wasn't a sparrow, we don't live anywhere near the coast, ducks aren't flying around at the mo, and it wasn't in the country.
Hamish likes the idea of it being a pterodactyl too.....
Sunday, November 14, 2010
No new crafty stuff....
Nope. Nothing. Shane went back into hospital again this week, and so the week went a bit topsy turvy. I suspect life is going to be like that alot over the next year or so.
He has found out that he is profoundly deaf in his RH side at higher frequencies, and moderately deaf at the lower frequencies. This is OK. Its not ideal, but its OK.
The interesting thing is the ear works fine, but the nerves seem to be damaged from the surgery removing the tumour. It might work again one day, but likely not.
I have a birthday party this morning with Miss 5. Fun times. Such lovely kids and parents, but I just don't love parties. And everyone will ask how he is. And I'll have to explain things 10 times over.
Sigh - at least this baby inside seems to be doing all the right things - especially growing. Hard to believe I still have 9 or so weeks to go!
He has found out that he is profoundly deaf in his RH side at higher frequencies, and moderately deaf at the lower frequencies. This is OK. Its not ideal, but its OK.
The interesting thing is the ear works fine, but the nerves seem to be damaged from the surgery removing the tumour. It might work again one day, but likely not.
I have a birthday party this morning with Miss 5. Fun times. Such lovely kids and parents, but I just don't love parties. And everyone will ask how he is. And I'll have to explain things 10 times over.
Sigh - at least this baby inside seems to be doing all the right things - especially growing. Hard to believe I still have 9 or so weeks to go!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Kindy Present for 2009
These are the presents we are giving the kindy teachers this year.
Inspired by other's blogs, specifically Bakerella..... They are a cookie in a jar - just need some butter, egg and vanilla added and they are good to go!
I think they are really nice, and a bit fun. Our teachers are very special - they are Montessori trained, and now have both kids! Jenna is there full days on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and Hamish does half days Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
Yesterday I went to the kindy and did a science lesson for the afternoon kids. It was fun - we looked a x-rays and some skeleton bones, played with a microscope, did some household acid and base chemistry and played with the power packs and lightbulbs.
Apparently they are going to write a book about me.... Kaiako Fiona......
Hamish also had his birthday today at kindy, so following in the family tradition we had muffins and candles. All good fun. There was another lovely little girl celebrating from yesterday, so 2 muffins for all the kiddies.
Inspired by other's blogs, specifically Bakerella..... They are a cookie in a jar - just need some butter, egg and vanilla added and they are good to go!
I think they are really nice, and a bit fun. Our teachers are very special - they are Montessori trained, and now have both kids! Jenna is there full days on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and Hamish does half days Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.
Yesterday I went to the kindy and did a science lesson for the afternoon kids. It was fun - we looked a x-rays and some skeleton bones, played with a microscope, did some household acid and base chemistry and played with the power packs and lightbulbs.
Apparently they are going to write a book about me.... Kaiako Fiona......
Hamish also had his birthday today at kindy, so following in the family tradition we had muffins and candles. All good fun. There was another lovely little girl celebrating from yesterday, so 2 muffins for all the kiddies.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Another 3 months passes by
So are the days of our lives..
Actually - some days it feels like my life is a bit of a soap opera!
Jenna and Hamish doing some building
Work has been frantically busy, but great. Teaching is definitely my thing, which is terribly comforting. The school I work at is amazing, and everyone is fabulous.
The kids are growing furiously - in both mind and body, and Hamish has started kindy.
First Day of Kindy
I have been plenty busy in the craft world too - lots of dyeing, knitting and sewing. Really enjoying myself.
Painting rocks for Mothers Day
So why no posts? Well I guess I update alot more often on Facebook these days, which is great. I am catching up with friends from many years past - and its kinda cool to see what all my school mates from the early 90's are now doing. Some wonderful things - thats for sure! There are editors, muso's, producers, designers, models, tv stars, but most importantly - lots of nice people, doing good things that usually involve family.
Snow on the Napier-Taupo road in October!!!
So here are some shots of the last few months. Enjoy.
Kindy trip to the zoo last week
Actually - some days it feels like my life is a bit of a soap opera!
Jenna and Hamish doing some buildingThe kids are growing furiously - in both mind and body, and Hamish has started kindy.
First Day of KindyI have been plenty busy in the craft world too - lots of dyeing, knitting and sewing. Really enjoying myself.
Painting rocks for Mothers DaySo why no posts? Well I guess I update alot more often on Facebook these days, which is great. I am catching up with friends from many years past - and its kinda cool to see what all my school mates from the early 90's are now doing. Some wonderful things - thats for sure! There are editors, muso's, producers, designers, models, tv stars, but most importantly - lots of nice people, doing good things that usually involve family.
Snow on the Napier-Taupo road in October!!!So here are some shots of the last few months. Enjoy.
Kindy trip to the zoo last weekSunday, March 22, 2009
Fossils.....
I have a new lust.
Fossil hunting.
We stayed here during the weekend, and it was lovely. These are some shots from their farm.
The white parts in the rock are oyster beds, and they are only 20mil years old...
What!!!!!! When is 20mil only young???? This is me who freaks out when I walk through castles that are 1000y old!!!!!
WE went fossil hunting at Kiritehere Beach in West Waikato. At first I couldn't find any (despite the fact people said to me " fossils are lying everywhere under the bridge there..." and I still couldn't find them).
So luckily Shane is infinitely more patient than me, and had the first find. After I saw what they looked like, I jumped all over them, throwing rocks to crack them open, and then asking him to put a large rock in the boot. To be honest - they didn't look that cool. Really - they were just clam shells baked in rock.
Well when I get home I find out that my special rocks (that anyone has access to) are actually dated from the TRIASSIC period, which is really ffffffing old!! 210million years. My little buggers are Monotis, and they are very common for the area, which was covered in sediment 210 million years ago, and then NZ did the freaky land moving thing, and up went these sea beds!
So now I love my fossils, and they are pretty and stunning and clever and gorgeous! We have donated a couple of lovely specimens to Jenna's kindergarten, and I have some cool ones to take to school and donate to the rock collection there.
Some I guess I will keep myself, but I admit that I only understand this better since I started "teaching" geology 2 weeks ago - which I know nothing about!!!!!
Fossil hunting.
We stayed here during the weekend, and it was lovely. These are some shots from their farm.
The white parts in the rock are oyster beds, and they are only 20mil years old...
What!!!!!! When is 20mil only young???? This is me who freaks out when I walk through castles that are 1000y old!!!!!
WE went fossil hunting at Kiritehere Beach in West Waikato. At first I couldn't find any (despite the fact people said to me " fossils are lying everywhere under the bridge there..." and I still couldn't find them).
So luckily Shane is infinitely more patient than me, and had the first find. After I saw what they looked like, I jumped all over them, throwing rocks to crack them open, and then asking him to put a large rock in the boot. To be honest - they didn't look that cool. Really - they were just clam shells baked in rock.
Well when I get home I find out that my special rocks (that anyone has access to) are actually dated from the TRIASSIC period, which is really ffffffing old!! 210million years. My little buggers are Monotis, and they are very common for the area, which was covered in sediment 210 million years ago, and then NZ did the freaky land moving thing, and up went these sea beds!
So now I love my fossils, and they are pretty and stunning and clever and gorgeous! We have donated a couple of lovely specimens to Jenna's kindergarten, and I have some cool ones to take to school and donate to the rock collection there.
Some I guess I will keep myself, but I admit that I only understand this better since I started "teaching" geology 2 weeks ago - which I know nothing about!!!!!
Mini break
So we did the whole mini break this weekend. Reality was kicking in, and I wanted an easy night away. Not easy with a dog...
But we found this gorgeous place, that looked nice, and was free the morning we wanted to leave, and was OK with dogs. Actually - thats not quite true. Shane went off on Sat morning to run some errands, and I serached the web, called around, packed up the truck, and when he got home I told him to have a shower, and we were off. He knew nothing about it!
Te tiro cottages was a dream. Gorgeous setting, nice price ($130 a night for all of us), 40 mins drive, and just plain relaxing. It was a wonderful chance choice.
Yes - this is view from the kitchen window!!!!
We spent the afternoon wandering around the farm with Crawford and their foxy Puck, and then had a wonderful evening just chilling and drinking a nice red.
After night fell, we walked about 2mins to their very own glowworm grotto - OMFG. This was the coolest!!!!!! So cool we ran back to the cottage, woke Jenna up to come down and see the sparkle fairies in the fairy forest (as it had been dubbed)
The hosts were amazing - Angus and Rachel rocked, and the kids were lovely too. They were very accommodating and friendly, and I think have a wonderful place to raise their kids.
Book Tetiro the next time you want a break away with the kids! 2 Cottages, sleep about 4-5 each and a wonderful private setting. 2 families with young kids I think is perfect!
(This is where the kids slept - and didn't they love that!!!! Our bed was right underneath them.)
But we found this gorgeous place, that looked nice, and was free the morning we wanted to leave, and was OK with dogs. Actually - thats not quite true. Shane went off on Sat morning to run some errands, and I serached the web, called around, packed up the truck, and when he got home I told him to have a shower, and we were off. He knew nothing about it!
Te tiro cottages was a dream. Gorgeous setting, nice price ($130 a night for all of us), 40 mins drive, and just plain relaxing. It was a wonderful chance choice.
Yes - this is view from the kitchen window!!!!
We spent the afternoon wandering around the farm with Crawford and their foxy Puck, and then had a wonderful evening just chilling and drinking a nice red.
After night fell, we walked about 2mins to their very own glowworm grotto - OMFG. This was the coolest!!!!!! So cool we ran back to the cottage, woke Jenna up to come down and see the sparkle fairies in the fairy forest (as it had been dubbed)
The hosts were amazing - Angus and Rachel rocked, and the kids were lovely too. They were very accommodating and friendly, and I think have a wonderful place to raise their kids.
Book Tetiro the next time you want a break away with the kids! 2 Cottages, sleep about 4-5 each and a wonderful private setting. 2 families with young kids I think is perfect!
(This is where the kids slept - and didn't they love that!!!! Our bed was right underneath them.)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
A 4th birthday is around the corner...
So here I am trying to get the invites done.
We couldn't decide on a specific theme, so we decided on princess fairies.....
Actually I decided after I found a whole pile of paper barbie princess plates and cups for about 75% off - that was enough, theme set.
I am going to try and keep most of the party disposable free, but I am happy for paper plates and cups.
So here are the invites - printed myself, covered in glitter and rolled with a ribbon. I think they will look quite nice in the kindergarten pigeon holes tomorrow. I really dont know what the etiquette is for invites, there are boys and the older kids and the younger kids all invited. We just let Jenna tell us who she wanted. About 13 kids!! Also their siblings, so we may be up for around 25 kids - which would be interesting if it rained!!! Mind you, its at the start of school holidays, in the middle of easter, so I suspect that will be prohibitive for some.
I am doing flower garlands for the girls, crowns for the boys. I'm hoping to make something nice for the garden, and each child invited (not siblings) will get a fabric bag for their goodies. I'm hoping to knit a little korknisse for each of them, and maybe have a few nice prizes for games. I dunno - I'm now over it ;) and its 4 weeks away!
We couldn't decide on a specific theme, so we decided on princess fairies.....
Actually I decided after I found a whole pile of paper barbie princess plates and cups for about 75% off - that was enough, theme set.
I am going to try and keep most of the party disposable free, but I am happy for paper plates and cups.
So here are the invites - printed myself, covered in glitter and rolled with a ribbon. I think they will look quite nice in the kindergarten pigeon holes tomorrow. I really dont know what the etiquette is for invites, there are boys and the older kids and the younger kids all invited. We just let Jenna tell us who she wanted. About 13 kids!! Also their siblings, so we may be up for around 25 kids - which would be interesting if it rained!!! Mind you, its at the start of school holidays, in the middle of easter, so I suspect that will be prohibitive for some.
I am doing flower garlands for the girls, crowns for the boys. I'm hoping to make something nice for the garden, and each child invited (not siblings) will get a fabric bag for their goodies. I'm hoping to knit a little korknisse for each of them, and maybe have a few nice prizes for games. I dunno - I'm now over it ;) and its 4 weeks away!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Meet Crawford
This is the latest addition to our family.
A West Highland White Terrier who we have chosen to call Crawford (Yes one member of the family is obsessed by the Hawthorn Hawks - an AFL team......)
Crawford arrived here this morning, much to everyone else's surprise. We had been looking at them all week after a recommendation from our Vet, and their temperament all week had been lovely. This little girl is the quietest of the little, with I think the nicest face - not that I know anything about the breed! While she is from purebred stock, she comes without papers, which is just fine. We may look at having puppies down the track, or maybe not - keep options open.
The kids are besotted, Dermot the Burmese is doing OK, and so far no accidents.
These dogs are supposed to be fantastic companion dogs, great with kids and older people. Hardy, cheeky and intelligent, Crawford will be a welcome addition and with any lucky a great little dog.
A West Highland White Terrier who we have chosen to call Crawford (Yes one member of the family is obsessed by the Hawthorn Hawks - an AFL team......)
Crawford arrived here this morning, much to everyone else's surprise. We had been looking at them all week after a recommendation from our Vet, and their temperament all week had been lovely. This little girl is the quietest of the little, with I think the nicest face - not that I know anything about the breed! While she is from purebred stock, she comes without papers, which is just fine. We may look at having puppies down the track, or maybe not - keep options open.
The kids are besotted, Dermot the Burmese is doing OK, and so far no accidents.
These dogs are supposed to be fantastic companion dogs, great with kids and older people. Hardy, cheeky and intelligent, Crawford will be a welcome addition and with any lucky a great little dog.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
How I have neglected thee.....
Oh Blog - poor thing - I have neglected you for a couple of months now.
But here I am - back with lots of news! This is a family post - crafty ones to follow.....
We have just returned from Oz where we went for a 2 weeks holiday over Chrissie. Great fun! Kids had a ball seeing their grandfather and aunts and uncle, and of course a cousin.
Hamish had his second birthday while we were there, and I admit I couldn't be bothered cooking a cake, so we bought this one from Baskin and Robbins, and it went down a treat! Best thing I could have done.
Grumps has the greenest garden in Geelong, thanks to several water tanks that catch rainwater from every surface he can manage, and the kids loved picking all the green apricots, roses, green apples, green cherry tomatoes, beans and whatever else they could get their hands on.
Poor grumps will be happy to see the back of us! As will the cats.
I got to catch up with a few friends which was really nice, and may have nursed a few hangovers. My mothers group from when Jenna was born is still meeting every 2 weeks, and we got to catch up. This isn't all the kids - there are 3 missing, but a happy healthy, rambunctious mob if ever you saw them! Great kids though.
And as with all good trips to Oz, ended up a couple of kg's heavier, lots of credit debt, and of course suitcases full!
But here I am - back with lots of news! This is a family post - crafty ones to follow.....
We have just returned from Oz where we went for a 2 weeks holiday over Chrissie. Great fun! Kids had a ball seeing their grandfather and aunts and uncle, and of course a cousin.
Hamish had his second birthday while we were there, and I admit I couldn't be bothered cooking a cake, so we bought this one from Baskin and Robbins, and it went down a treat! Best thing I could have done.
Grumps has the greenest garden in Geelong, thanks to several water tanks that catch rainwater from every surface he can manage, and the kids loved picking all the green apricots, roses, green apples, green cherry tomatoes, beans and whatever else they could get their hands on.
Poor grumps will be happy to see the back of us! As will the cats.
I got to catch up with a few friends which was really nice, and may have nursed a few hangovers. My mothers group from when Jenna was born is still meeting every 2 weeks, and we got to catch up. This isn't all the kids - there are 3 missing, but a happy healthy, rambunctious mob if ever you saw them! Great kids though.
And as with all good trips to Oz, ended up a couple of kg's heavier, lots of credit debt, and of course suitcases full!
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